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You Will Never Have a Better Past

Are you stuck?
The reality is that many of the conversations we have on a daily basis are about what went wrong in our past. What’s that about? God clearly instructs:

“…Forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press towards the goal to the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 3:13, 14) He wants you to release the past because you will never ever have a better PAST. No matter how you try. The past is…PAST…

What keeps you from letting go?
My prayer right now is that you will STOP and actually prayerfully look at your life and listen to what God is trying to say to you.

Stop blaming
The past is past. You cannot make it better. There are consequences and there are results. But it is past. Deal with what you need to deal with and move on.

There’s no sense in BLAMING anyone. But you can look at your own attitudes and listen to your own words. We are what we think. And we are what we speak about ourselves. I can remember saying often to myself: “What is WRONG with me?” I wasn’t seeing myself as God sees me. The life of a new creation cannot be lived looking back, but rather by looking ahead toward today and beyond.

Potty training
When I was MUCH younger, the big thing was blaming our mothers because of the way they potty trained us or whether they nursed us or not. That is unproductive. The past is past. Move on. Let it go! What you are right now today is not your mother’s FAULT! You have God and His Word to help you be an overcomer. No more “excuses”.

God has SO MUCH MORE
“Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us…” (Ephesians 3:20). God actually wants to bless you! But, He leaves it to you and me to embrace Him and believe His plan is for you and me to let go of the past and move forward WITH HIM.

What are you clinging to?

  • Has someone hurt or abused you?
  • Has someone disappointed you?
  • Have you been abandoned maybe as a child or by a husband?
  • Has someone manipulated you with guilt or fear?

CHOOSE to rise above it
Much in our lives can be solved, simply by realizing that we are all living out the personalities that God has given us, in an uninformed way. Often we see our strengths as weaknesses. Sadly many do not even want the abundant life because they would have to stop clinging to victimhood and blame. I don’t believe that is you, or you would not have read this far!

Manipulation & domination
However, If you want to continue to manipulate people to feel sorry for you, or if you want to continue to have inauthentic surface-y relationships, then don’t keep reading. I won’t coddle you in your victimhood. I’ll listen and affirm your life was tough (because who’s life hasn’t been?) BUT if you decide you want to work with me, I will help you discover your personal God-given strengths, so you can embrace and joyfully walk in them. AND I pledge that I will encourage you in every single tiny step forward.

Leading From Your Strengths
It will be glorious watching you do the hard work of re-programming your mind to think GOD’S thoughts and seek HIS plan as you walk away from your past failures and disappointments. God wants you to walk away from the past and toward your future. Because you will never have a better PAST anyway! It is impossible to change the PAST! So…

Let it go!
You won’t forget about it, but it’s behind you. Your past is part of what made you, YOU! I believe you are still reading this because YOU want to see your life through fresh eyes. You actually can move forward with the Lord Jesus Christ as your Source of everything, and trusting you no longer have a desperate need to “please” or “blame” any single person.

Gratitude
CHOOSE to do what you do out of gratitude. For what the Lord has done for you. For your salvation. For your future in Heaven with Him. For His unending unconditional love of who you ARE, because HE is the one who designed you to have the gifts, personality, strengths, and talents that He knew you would need, in order to do what He has prepared in advance for you to do!

Onward!
Are you ready to begin the discovery process? If so, you have come to the right place. Let’s get started…

Thanks for all you do…

Until next time…

God bless you bunches!
Let's Connect!
Awaiting His shout,
pam_signature-c49a6c

Christian Life Coach
Leading from Your Strengths Mentor
www.loavesandfishescoaching.com


Kick Back from Routine

Two girls walking along a pathClear Lake Iowa…
is a beautiful and a busy place all year. Special events all summer draw huge crowds. These visitors stay with relatives and friends, or in motels, and many delight in camping out in our beautiful camp grounds. We have biking trails and hiking trails. And wonderful parks and of course the LAKE.

The summer season
While kicking back from routine a little, remember that July is a good time to re-evaluate and adjust plans for the year. At 1/2 way through the year, stop and think:

  • Have you accomplished what you intended?
  • Are you more than 1/2 way toward the reaching your yearly goals?
  • What do you need to tweak to see your dreams come true?
  • Have you discovered your personality type with its strengths and quirks?
  • Have you considered much about how other people see you as a person?
  • Would you like to be able to bring out the best in other people?
  • Speaking of summer: Are you different when you are working than when you are relaxing?

Your laugh for the day:
(Don’t be one of those people)
(Actual comments people wrote on registration forms & comment cards.) (From a staff article. The Bridger Wilderness Area in Wyoming).

  • Trails need to be reconstructed. Please avoid building trails that go uphill.
  • Too many bugs and leeches and spiders and spider webs. Please spray the wilderness to rid the area of these pests.
  • Please pave the trails so they can be plowed of snow during the winter.
  • The coyotes made too much noise last night and kept me awake. Please eradicate these annoying animals.
  • A deer stole my jar of pickles. Is there a way I can be reimbursed.
  • Reflectors need to be placed on trees every 50 feet so people can hike at night with flashlights.
  • A McDonald’s would be nice at the trailhead.
  • The places where trails do not exist are not well marked.
  • Too many rocks in the mountains.

I’m actually surprised they didn’t complain about the weather. These comments were written seriously by real people. You can’t help wondering what they expected? They were in the WILDERNESS!!!

What about you?
When you visit another state and experience their great outdoors, are you ever THAT person? In our “consumer” society, it doesn’t take much to cause us to lose our perspective, to throw us into demanding our own desires, and become poor reflections of the Savior we profess to follow. What would Jesus do? What did Jesus do? Let’s do THAT! When was the last time you asked Jesus: What would YOU have me do, LORD?

Why do we do what we do?
Have you ever wondered why you might react one way and another person reacts differently to the same circumstances? I love that we can actually know the answer to that question! The answer is “By God’s design.” God decides each of our personalities. And then He plops us down exactly where He wants us to be to learn what He wants to teach us. And then it is our job to figure out how to live our one life the best we know how…

Life is like a big huge puzzle.
And we are each only one single piece. It is critical you KNOW where you fit and why you do what you do. None of us wants to be a curmudgeon like the people who filled out the park comment forms. Let’s talk about how you can KNOW who GOD created you to be and how to be better at it. Ministry Insights has developed an amazing tool that we use at www.LoavesandFishesCoaching.com. Get your questions answered! Don’t delay!

Let’s talk about scheduling a *Free* Inquiry call.

Thanks for all you do…

Until next time…

God bless you bunches!
Let's Connect!
Awaiting His shout,
pam_signature-c49a6c

The MomCourager™


Do You Have Hope-so or Know-so Faith?

I have a serious question for you. Do you have hope-so faith or know-so faith? Do you “hope” that you will go to Heaven? Or do you “know” that you will go to Heaven?

Let’s go back to basics. We all become like those we spend time with.  So, get a piece of paper and let’s take time to:
**Review your relationships (including TV/computer/cell). Are they drawing you closer to the Savior or away from Him?
**Review how you spend your discretionary time. Are you feeding your mind/spirit/soul with trash or with a banquet?
**Review the priority you give to spending time in the Word of God (The Holy Bible).  Remember that we become like those we spend time with.

A good way to begin to get that “know-so” faith  is to practice the presence of God. Be aware of His presence. Everywhere. All the time. In all circumstances. He is a gentleman. He won’t push Himself on you. It’s your choice to: Seek–with a vengeance–a relationship with Him. As though your eternal life depends on it. Because it does! Literally. Eternally.

It’s that time of year when we start new schedules. It’s time to: Schedule in the Lord.  Purposefully make time with Him and His Word a priority in your schedule. Highlight it in your day-planner or calendar. Then keep that appointment as though it is a “date” with the coolest person in the world. Because it is! (And the best part is, the relationship also carries over to the next world as well. It doesn’t get any better than that!)

Be honest with Him. He knows it all anyway. He loves you. He created you, so He knows why your life is “stuck” or not working as you had hoped it would. He knows you’re hurting over betrayal or disappointment or because you made a decision that has turned your world upside down. He knows what is tempting you. He can provide that way out. But the only way to get the power to be the best you can be is through an intentional relationship with Him and His Word. He promises to meet you there.

If you need help working it through, that’s my favorite thing to do…to walk alongside “imperfect” people like me…imperfect people that want to be all the Lord wants us to be. It is so much easier when you have a trusted ally to walk the path with you. Don’t worry. Nothing you say will surprise me. We all struggle. Me, too. That is the nature of this world. It is not our home. We are only passing through. We’re “getting ready for” the next…the so-much-better-world. The first call is my gift to you. Just email me to arrange it. It is that easy. Let’s get started with this new schedule determined to get back to basics…whatever it takes! Onward! loavesandfishescoaching.com

 


Deal or No Deal…The Prodigal Attitude

You might already know that the story is about the (Prodigal) son that asked for a share of the inheritance so he could leave home and do his own thing. He was granted his requests. He had a good time for awhile…until his money ran out, that is. Which meant that his friends ran out about the same time. And then he found a job slopping pigs. He was so hungry that the pig slop began to look pretty good. That’s when he decided he had to do something to take control of the situation.

Eureka! He got an idea!

We find him reasoning to himself that he will go back home and negotiate a deal with his father. He will tell his father that he is no longer worthy to be called his son. (Sounds humble, huh? Sounds like he learned his lesson, right? ) And he decides the best part about his brilliant plan is that he will plead with his father to make him one of the father’s hired servants.

Sounds good. But is it really? Deal or no deal? Pride or humility? Wisdom or Arrogance? What are the makings of a “real man” (or woman) of God?

There were at least three kinds of servants in those days:
1. Day Workers. They were paid on a day-to-day basis (no job security).
2. Hired Servants. They worked long hours on the estate, but lived in town (with their independence intact).
3. Bond Servants: They lived on the estate and worked very hard (job security, but no independence).

After all of his arrogance and foolishness and loss, when the prodigal was planning to return home, we see that he continued to want control of his own “hard-earned” money and to live apart from his father and keep his independence as well. He wanted to be a hired servant.

So, do we find a surrendered, humble man that has learned from his mistakes or do we find someone that looks a lot like US when we approach the throne of God the Father to make requests of Him in prayer??? Are we really saying, “I’ll serve you, but I still want my freedom to decide how that will actually play out”.

This story is often called the story of the Prodigal (or Lost) Son, and yet it is also the story of the Loving Father. (For some of you, this story will be a sad thing because you have never known what it felt like to be truly loved by a Father. And for you, this is an especially important thing to understand: it is an excellent illustration of the way our Heavenly Father is with us.) (Be sure to read the whole story in Luke 15). In this story, do you see that the Father never let the son tell him his plan? All the son got to say was that he was not worthy. The Father took it from there and gave the son much more than he ever had thought or imagined. Our Heavenly Father is just like that! (A word of caution: We can’t expect a shower of material things, but it can be guaranteed that whatever He (God, the Father) chooses for us will most certainly be better in the long run than we ever could plan out in our own puny earth-bound brains.)

However, it is also important to mention that a prodigal attitude breaks the Father’s heart as He stands waiting for us to come back home. When we stray or get distracted from fellowshipping with Him, He waits with a longing for us…He wants to shower us with His love. He is sad because of all we miss by not trusting Him to take good care of us. Dig deeply into the reading of His Word (the Bible). He is waiting there for you. He wants you to get to know Him. He has carefully chosen each word…to bless you!

 


Wedding Plans & Alpha Moms

Most couples have expectations that after the engagement, there comes the blissful and effortless planning of a wedding celebration. However, sometimes, the wedding plans become a challenge when one or more Alpha Moms vye against the Alpha Bride for the power to plan.

Let’s be fair. Seldom does the Alpha person see the relational fractures they are causing. What could be some of the possible reasons this is happening?

Alpha Manifestations:
The money rules. Whoever pays the most thinks (and rightly so) that they should have a greater input … but unfortunately that often translates into the “Right to Rule” all things attitude.
Power struggles. “Where, what, who, when” decisions become nightmares as formerly sane people try to be heard. It appears that they feel that their way is the only reasonable (translated: correct) decision.
Focus on tasks/decisions. It is easy to forget to be kind when so many tasks and decisions are piling up.
Past experiences. Perhaps their own Mom was a Wedding Alpha Mom and they don’t know there is another option.

Is there an alternative? Is this all inevitable? Does the best Alpha win?

Advantages in the Christian Wedding:
 We can choose to keep God in the center…to pray first, pray during, and pray after each decision, each meeting, and each event.
 The wisdom of the Word of God is the Rock to stand on. Reading the New Testament book of Philippians is a good place to start each day. It helps to keep our focus on the Joy in the Lord…to keep our thoughts of Him front and center.
 It helps to keep reminding ourselves that God is on our side. He wants us to ask for His help. He desires the wedding plans to be as blissful as the joy of the engagement was. Jesus’ first recorded miracle was at a wedding feast with his mother. He understands.
 A priority must be in keeping our guard up against the evil one that desires to destroy the good testimony that can come from a Christian wedding done well.
 We can choose to have an “accountability partner” to help us keep focused on what is eternal.

It is also important to remember that just because we are Christians, we are not immune to the temptations brought on by wanting everything to be just right. With all the busyness, it is easy to forget we are sinners needing God’s mercy, guidance, wisdom, and grace.

In Luke 18:9-14, the Alpha church leader – the one that knew and taught the Scriptures – the one that spent most of his days in a religious lifestyle (and should have known better) tried to convince God of his “Alpha-ness” (translated: worthiness).

In the story, we also see the lowly, despised man – feeling his sinfulness (translated: UNworthiness). He is begging God for mercy.

The question is – in any of life’s circumstances – do we want to be the Alpha person or the one asking for the Lord’s mercy and guidance…and receiving it because God sees our heart. Being an Alpha person is a hard habit to break. But the first step is awareness that it’s not worth the ultimate price – being out of God’s favor.

It helps to keep the perspective that it is truly only one day. Future relationships can be strained when we insist that the Alpha way is the right way…controlling things with either attitude, tears, or outbursts of anger. Whether you are the bride, the groom, the mother, the father, a relative, or friend, it simply is not worth it in the long run. How much better to seek to be a blessing in the planning of a wedding.

Yes, decisions have to be made and deadlines have to be met. And yielding is difficult, but done with eyes wide open and on the Lord, it can be the difference between being a Kingdom Person rather than a Church Person. Our ways are earthly. His ways are Heavenly.

Luke 18:14 “I tell you that this man {the UNworthy one…the one who knew that he was a sinner}, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled; and he who humbles himself will be exalted.”

May God bless your wedding plans, your wedding, and all the rest of your days on earth. For His glory!

 

 


A Time for Remembering. From Loss to Gain.

When I was pre-teen, my Mother died after a long illness. Unable to bear to see her suffer any longer, I had cried out to God to either heal her or take her. She died that very day. Loss.

A year later, my boyfriend died following a boating accident. Normally, we would have been spending the day together; but he had gone water skiing because we were arguing.  Loss.

That very summer–just days after the accident, and a year after my Mother’s death—my best friend and confidant went on vacation out of state for the entire summer. Loss.

Continually coming to dead ends, for years I searched for the GOD of my Mother.  She had something that helped her through that time of suffering; and I wanted that something. (What was her “secret”?).  I was lonely, bored, and confused. Loss.

Still desperately looking for answers in the wrong places–when I was not yet 20, I married a man I barely knew. For twelve years we were barren. Loss.

My salesman husband traveled and there were breeches to our marriage covenant to love and honor. Loss.

Still searching for answers, I finally found what I was looking for in a church. I still didn’t know what to call it, but I knew they had something very important.  I was in a safe place–loved by people that knew the “secret” my Mom knew. And now I knew the “secret” too. They loved me to the Word of God and to the God of the Word. Gain.

I devoured the “secret”…the Glorious Word of God…and I found HIM (the LORD) there…in the Bible. He was waiting there for me all the time. I just had to be willing to receive what He had to offer. I found Jesus and God and the Holy Spirit and lots of examples of how God relates to His imperfect creation: people…you and me. And I found the joy of discovering the unconditional love of our Creator. He loves us exactly as we are…but…He also loves us too much to let us stay there. He teaches us how to see loss as gain. Loss truly is gain when it drives us seeking until we come to Him and to His Word. He wants us to experience the abundant life—not of money and things—but of the realization of our Father’s Love. Gain. Great Gain.

“Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! …For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be the glory forever! Amen” (Romans 11:33-36 New International Version)

Turning losses into great gain…
That’s my favorite topic! Arrange a FREE call. Contact me at loavesandfishescoaching.com.

I can’t wait to talk to you.  🙂


Sure You Can!

It is never too late, until that day when you unzip this earthly body and step into eternity to see Jesus face-to-face. On that day, you will either be His or you will not. Your choice. I can help you with understanding that choice. And then walk alongside you as you discover how best to direct your life for your greatest fulfillment.

This is the first day of the rest of your life! You can—beginning this very day— choose more deliberately and thoughtfully how you spend the gift of your life. It is not too late. You can readjust your course. Sure you can! I have, and you can, too!

Let’s talk! I’m available for a FREE call. Contact me at loavesandfishescoaching.com and we can set up an appointment. As you learn to walk more fully in your God-given gifts, you will find new energy and greater satisfaction in your relationships. It is definitely a win/win situation. No doubt about it!

Ignatius of Loyola prayed: “O heavenly Father…give us the sense of Your presence, Your love, Your strength. Help us to have perfect trust in Your protecting love and strengthening power…for, living close to You, we shall see Your hand, Your purpose, Your will through all things. Amen.”