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Finding the Place of Victory Over Self-Condemnation

Fireworks - Freedom and independence

For many years, I condemned myself

I could only see what was WRONG with me. And there was no lack of people to reenforce that mindset. I didn’t know that it was OK that I was different than the people I longed to be like. In fact, it was not just OK but it was a very GOOD thing. It took awhile, but I began to realize that God wanted me to embrace who He made me to be. To be used for His glory.

What is self-condemnation and how do we get victory over it?

Self-condemnation is self-absorbing. Sadly, it prevents us from fully loving others. And that is sad, because that is exactly why we are here. First, to love God, the One Who made us. And then we are to love others with God’s kinda love!

Self-condemnation prevents us from having a God mindset towards others AND towards ourselves.

God’s desire for us is to have self-compassion

I needed to understand that on a deep level. Along the way, somewhere, I heard a story that helped me to change my mindset. And I’m going to tell it to you right now. So that you can join me in that place of victory!!

Before I tell you the story, please find quiet place alone. This won’t take long, but it is more effective if you give this story your FULL attention.

Ready for the challenge? OK…

Here’s we go…

Imagine.

(Pleeeeasssseee…I am serious about this. In order to fully benefit, you have to totally stop everything right now and take a few minutes to truly imagine with me…No multi-tasking :-))

Ok. Ready?

Imagine a time when you’re tenderly and compassionately caring for someone that is ill. You lovingly put her to bed. A little later, you go in to check on her and you are relieved to see that she is asleep. You know that sleep is good for her.

You just stand quietly in the doorway, watching her as she sleeps. Just loving her as she sleeps. She isn’t doing anything to earn your love. You just love her because you love her. And you pray for her to be well again. It hurts you that she is suffering. You will her to be well again. You have deep compassion for her suffering.

Then, she turns over, she looks at you, and you realize…

That person…

You realize that…

It’s YOU!

Now…if you can just purpose to stay in that moment of time until you sense something “shift”, a time of personal healing is waiting for you there!

THAT is exactly how God loves you! He just loves you because He loves you. You couldn’t EARN His love by anything you do even if you tried. Will you. Right now. Accept that love and LET Him love you unconditionally?

Daddy, Daddy! Guess What I Saw Today?

From a flock of geese to a dog on a leash, the pages of this winsome little book are filled with things we see around us every day. Pamela A. Taylor takes those everyday items and looks at them through the eyes of a child; making them seem exciting and new while also teaching children how to be grateful for the God who created them. Take a walk with Pamela through the pages of this book and help your little ones see God’s hand in the beauty of life.

Now take it one step further

Our children model what they see in us. So if we raise “healthy” kids, and we only love them, but we don’t love ourselves, they too will have difficulty loving themselves, because that is what was modeled for them = NOT loving oneself. THAT was their example.

Disclaimer

Of course we are not referring to the model that embraces the thinking that the world revolves around oneself, but rather we are referring to a good healthy love of what the Creator decided we would be. He chose our personality, our spiritual gifts, our talents, and skills. To not embrace who we were created to be, is an affront to our Father. We owe it to our children to know the difference between self-pity vs. self-compassion. And to teach them by example. Ahhh…now there is the challenge, ‘eh?

I’d love to hear your thoughts about this. Have you found this to be true?

Here is what I would like to end with:

I’d love to help you discover your God-given self to love as He loves you. And the best way to do that is through the Leading From Your Strengths process. It was designed to strengthen the Body of Christ by helping each individual person discover what God had in mind when He thought you up. Through the process, You can gain freedom and independence from the discouraging comparisons and learn to embrace the beauty of who you really are.

I stand ready to help…I’m only a click away…

God bless you bunches!

Let's Connect!Awaiting His shout,
pam_signature-c49a6c

Christian Life Coach
Leading from Your Strengths Mentor
www.loavesandfishescoaching.com


Benefits of Positive Persuasion

Three women talking and laughing
I am learning about persuasion and perspective from Scott Adams, author and podcaster. In one podcast, I remember that he shared in an interview about one of his pivotal memories. Here is of what I heard him say…

Dale Carnegie

Scott was in a Dale Carnegie training event. They were all strangers to each other and only knew what had been spoken during the training. And yet, the facilitator gave them an “impossible” assignment to write a compliment on separate pieces of paper, for each member of the class. One person complained that they simply didn’t know enough to compliment each other. Nevertheless, the assignment was required.

It seemed dumb

The compliments could not possibly be sincere, because there was no real knowledge about each other.

The next day

So, they each turned in their packet of compliments (one for each person in the class). Then one day, in the mail, each received the pile of “compliments” from their classmates. He was skeptical, and yet imagine Scott’s surprise that with each one he read (even the surface-y ones), he felt his confidence growing. They each had an impact for good, even though he KNEW they couldn’t be heartfelt because they simply did not even really KNOW anything about each other.

Imagine with me

If all that is possible in a secular setting, imagine with me what is possible with God at the center…

Strengths Coaching

I’m a strengths coach. As a coach, I don’t try to FIX you. And we don’t blame others for how things turned out for you in your life. Rather, we look realistically at today. The past is past. You can never have a better past, so NOW WHAT? Let’s work on what you can do today.

Forward Thinking

I help you discover, through a Ministry Insights, Leading From Your Strengths, assessment, what your God-given strengths are. Then, I help you learn to recognize others’ strengths, (like when Scott’s classmates were looking for things to compliment about each other).

The world wants to beat you down and point out what is wrong with you. The world wants to have you concentrate on strengthening your weaknesses. That is like looking at the world through someone else’s glasses. That just makes us a bunch of unfocused, ineffective, partially successful people. God has a better plan. He wants you to look at what is right and good and noteworthy in yourself. And in others. Through coaching, you can learn how it all fits together like the pieces in a puzzle.

It seemed dumb

In my coach training, and my previous training in counseling, we too did exercises similar to what Scott speaks of in his Dale Carnegie course. I can remember an assignment that seemed dumb. We broke down into twos and we asked each other what was called “the powerful question”. It’s used when people are STUCK and can’t move forward. It seemed dumb because we all knew what the question was, so I remember thinking, it would not work on me. I know others felt the same way. Both in counseling and then in my coaching classes, too. And yet, it worked! What about you?

Are you struggling in an area?

Maybe you just don’t know what to do about something in your life!

The powerful question is:

“So…If you DID know what to do, what would it be?”

That question, should not work, and yet it does! EVERY TIME! It worked when I was being coached and it works now. It works when you don’t know it is coming and it works when you do know it is coming. Just like the “compliments assignment’’ in the Dale Carnegie courses. It should not work, and yet it does! EVERY TIME!

It unlocks the brain

Questions like that actually unlock your brain from what has impacted it negatively by life and disasters and relationships. Your brain has believed it must be different than God’s design. A brain impacted by a kinda scary world gone nutty lately. So, these assignments in positive persuasion have amazing potential to unlock your brain, and to open you up to possibilities.  To inner joy and peace. To embracing who God created you to be.

Because God says in the Bible…

Philippians 4:13 (KJV) “I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me.”

Mark 10:27b (KJV) “… for with God all things are possible.”

Mark 9:23 (JV) “Jesus said unto him, if thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth.”

Let me know when you want to find out more about your own possibilities.

Maranatha!
Come Lord Jesus!

God bless you bunches!

Let's Connect!Awaiting His shout,
pam_signature-c49a6c

Christian Life Coach
Leading from Your Strengths Mentor
www.loavesandfishescoaching.com


Do Not Keep Worrying

How is it possible?
Not to worry? Why should I not worry? Everybody worries about something. There is plenty to worry about. And yet God commands us not to worry. Surrendering your heart to Jesus is the great first step. Or, maybe you went forward years ago but your heart has grown a bit cold, making you prone to fear and worry. So…Is there hope? YES!!! YES!!! There is most certainly hope. And I have a plan to share with you…

“Do not keep worrying” (Luke 12:29)
It is not a suggestion. It is an instruction. From GOD. But…we all know that the world is a mess! Families and even churches seem to be dysfunctional. Even so, God has given us a choice. We can live in peace and trust, OR in discontent, striving…wrought up in confusion and fear.

A choice
This is when we want to turn to God and say: Do you mean, God, that worry is a choice? And that NOT worrying is also a choice? You mean that I can actually STOP worrying? How is that possible? Where do I start? Here’s just one idea…

Try this: The 5 second rule*
One of my mentors shared: The 5 second rule: “5, 4, 3, 2, 1 (and then speak out loud an “anchor thought”). She used as an example a child afraid of a school rehearsal. The child wants to conquer her fear, so she says, “5, 4, 3, 2, 1.  My rehearsal is going to be awesome”.

Getting specific
Here’s how it works: when tempted to worry or be afraid, choose to count backwards from 5 and then say out loud the best possible outcome (an anchor thought). As a Christian, you might say, “5, 4, 3, 2, 1. My Father knows I need these things”, or “5, 4, 3, 2, 1. My presentation will be amazing because I have prepared for it and My Father will not forsake me”, or when you don’t want to be angry, …”5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Traffic is slow. What a great time to pray!”

Fear & Faith are both THOUGHTS
Our thoughts are what sabotage us. Fear is thinking the worst possible outcome; and faith is thinking the best possible outcome. Since our thoughts are the problem, they can also be the solution. This “game” we can play with our mind to transform to a more Godly response is just one way to “NOT KEEP WORRYING”. God has more for you than you can ever think or imagine.

Luke 12:28-31 (NAS)

“But if God so arrays the grass in the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, HOW MUCH MORE will He clothe you, o men of little faith! And do not seek what you shall eat, and what you shall drink, and DO NOT KEEP WORRYING. For all these things the nations of the world eagerly seek, BUT YOUR FATHER KNOWS THAT YOU NEED THESE THINGS.

“BUT SEEK FIRST THE KINGDOM,
and these things shall be added to you. Do not be afraid little flock, for your Father has chosen gladly to give you the Kingdom.” (EMPHASIS mine.)

Your Father knows you need these things (Luke 12:30)
BUT He wants to be certain that you know the Source is not you, your hard work, your cleverness, or whatever; and He wants you to know that everything, absolutely everything comes from Him and through Him. The trials and the scary worrisome things are the opportunities to “go first” in trust with faith.

So what are you waiting for?
Is it difficult for you to stop worrying? Maybe you would like some support and encouragement through the process of transformation. I’d love to be that one for you. We will look at your God-given strengths and figure out if your personality might be more prone to fear and worry than people with other personality strengths.

Click the blue “Let’s Connect” button below to request a *Free* 1st call. Together, we can get started sooner rather than later. Why wait? CLICK now…


*Author of the book: The Five Second Rule: Mel Robbins (Disclaimer. I have not read the book, so I can’t recommend it or not. I don’t know anything about the author. I merely found the rule to be helpful, and it is a joyful thing to give credit where credit is due. This is an amazing plan!)

Thanks for all you do…

Until next time…

God bless you bunches!
Let's Connect!
Awaiting His shout,
pam_signature-c49a6c

The MomCourager™