“Unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.” — John 12:24
That pretty well sums up parenting…and especially motherhood. Motherhood is so daily!
Dying to self. The single seed dying to self for the greater good…the good crop. Meaning…when we truly surrender our rights to the Lord, beautiful things begin to happen within our hearts. And in our families.
In his very first sentence in the book, The Purpose Driven Life, Rick Warren states a Biblical Truth: “It’s not about you.”
That single statement reminds me to get my priorities in alignment with God’s. It’s NOT about me. It’s ALL about HIM!!! The LORD! If there is a Lord (and there is) then there must be servants who do His bidding. (That’s you and me.)
The Small Catechism states “the chief purpose of man is to love God and enjoy Him forever.” We enjoy God when we obey Him. We obey Him because we believe Him when He gives us directions how to live a life which is pleasing to Him and is joy-filled for us.
And WHEN we surrender to that, He gives us His strength, in our weakness! When we are weak, then He is strong! Hang in there, Mom!
You are loved! And yes…it *is* worth it!
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This has been a word of encouragement from:
Pam Taylor, Christian Life Coach
Do you have trouble falling asleep at night?
Are you grumpy because you are not getting enough sleep?
You might also be interested in this Secret Sleep Aid:
Mom-2-Mom Parenting Tips
Parenting is hard work! We all need a little help!
Visit blog.loavesandfishescoaching.com/ to begin receiving Mom-2-Mom “Ten Tips to Inspire You to Greatness” in your parenting. And then…every few days another word of encouragement will slip into your Inbox until you have received all ten.
(BTW, even dads have been helped by these tips.) 🙂
Awaiting His shout,
Christian Life Coach
Self pity vs. self-compassion. What’s the difference? And, who cares?
Self-pity is a passive self-absorbed thing. It prevents us from having self-compassion. And it prevents us from fully loving others.
Imagine. (Pleeeeasssseee…Totally stop everything right now and take a few minutes to truly imagine with me...) Imagine a time when you’re tenderly and compassionately caring for someone that is ill. You lovingly put them to bed. A little later, you go in to check on them and they are asleep. You stand in the doorway and you watch them sleep and you pray and will them to be well again. You have compassion for them. The person turns over, looks at you and you realize, that person…
Now…if you can stay in that moment of time, healing is waiting for you there!
Self-pity vs. self-compassion.
Modeling. Our children model what they see in us. If we don’t forgive ourselves, the child likely is unforgiving toward the mother/father and toward self, as well.
Healthy child: “My mother/father loved life.” However…If we raise “healthy” kids, and we only love them, but we don’t love ourselves, they too will have difficulty loving themselves, because that is what was modeled for them = NOT loving oneself.
Disclaimer: of course we are not referring to the model that embraces thinking the world revolves around oneself, but rather a good healthy love of what the Creator decided we would be. He chose our personality, our spiritual gifts, our talents and skills. To not embrace who we were created to be, is an affront to our Father. We owe it to our children to know the difference between self-pity vs. self-compassion.
I’d love to hear your thoughts about this. Have you found this to be true?
To prepare the passengers in case of an emergency during flight, the directions from the flight crew include something like this: “Moms, put on your oxygen mask before putting on your child’s oxygen mask.”
Why do you suppose they do that? I’m thinking it is because they know that it goes entirely against a mother’s natural instinct.
For many moms, one of the hardest things about mothering is the taking care of yourself part. I know it was for me, and and I hear it from others, as well.
So, this post is to encourage you. Not to be selfish, but to be sure to take care of self-care. In order to be the best mom for your child, it is not selfish to give yourself a “time out” so to speak. To refresh your spirit. To put on your oxygen mask before attempting to care for your child.
I’m not talking about neglecting your child. I’m not talking about indulging yourself in selfishness. I’m talking about knowing what you need in order to be the best you can be. Different personalities need different things to be their best. So, know your personality type. Know your spiritual gifts. Know your worship style. Know what type of exercise strengthens you. Know when a short break for a glass of water or a bit of protein will help bring out the best in your mothering skills. A Christian life coach can help you to pinpoint those areas that you may need to “tweak” a bit in order to put on your oxygen mask so you can be breathing well enough to then care for your child’s oxygen mask.
What are ways that you, Moms, put on your oxygen masks ?
Mothering is like a sisterhood. We like to encourage and help each other through to success. What have you done or what are you doing now? Or maybe you remember how your own Mom did that very well…
BTW, we just want to let you know that we are new to Facebook so be sure to take time to “Like” Loaves and Fishes Coaching on Facebook.
I recently had the privilege of teaching two workshops at the NICHE Homeschool Convention in Des Moines, IA. One of the workshops was for Single Parent Homeschooling, where I shared these Parenting Tips. So much is relevant, whether we are single, married, homeschool, Christian school, or public school. Parenting is parenting. So, it’s fun to share what we have discovered as we jouney the path with our kids.
The other workshop was “Hannah’s Daughter” (my own personal testimony of my search for God). Maybe I’ll share that in a future post??? 🙂
I offered these Parenting Tips to the people in my workshops and thought you might enjoy them as well. I’d love your feedback about anything you found to be particularly helpful. And, please post any other things that worked for you as you raised your own children, or as you watched others raise theirs. It’s never too late to start to train up a child in the way he/she should go so that when they are “old”, they will become faithful in what they have been taught.
So, here’s the info from the handout:
There’s no right or wrong way to school/teach your child. Let me re-phrase that. The only wrong way is if God tells you one thing and you choose to do another because God’s way seemed too hard.
Teach them (by example) to love to read. (Read everything to them.)
Teach them to love to learn (by example).
Keep a journal for them telling them that they were wanted and write down for them the journey of faith with God … noted page by page. You might not be around to be able to tell them. My mother died when I was a pre-teen.
Let them “catch you” in prayer and Bible reading.
“Bring” God into everything…because He is in everything.
Be aware of God’s continuous presence.
TMS (Navigator’s Topical Memory System). Memorize Scripture together.
Teach them the great hymns of the faith. Have them memorize the words. (My son sent me an affirmation email recently thanking me for teaching them the great hymns of the faith.)
Have them go to sleep – from infancy – listening to Scripture tapes/CD’s or…the subconscious mind absorbs and is receptive.
Have them memorize whole chapters of Scripture. Pay them $ for memorizing.
No allowance. We’re family and family works together to accomplish what needs to be done.
Deut. 6:7 tells us to teach our children diligently (purposefully), continually, whenever we are together.
Behavior/Attitudes (good and bad) are “caught” more easily than “taught”.
Keys for Kids devotional from Children’s Bible Hour (Uncle Charlie) is good even for very young children. It teaches truths, attitudes, good behavior, good relationship skills & love for/from God.)
Be their cheerleader. Observe their strengths, interests, talents, and learning styles “Train up a child in the way he/she should go…” Each child is unique
Be their advocate.
Quote from Our Daily Bread devotional (1/30/11) “Children may not inherit their parent’s talent, but they will absorb their values.”
No T.V. (My daughter sent a wonderful affirmation in an email from seminary, thanking me that she didn’t know the Sesame Street characters, but she knew the Bible characters.)
When they love to read and love to learn, they are not at the mercy of what others teach them. They can learn it for themselves. They can do their own research. They will learn to “think” rather than just regurgitate what was taught them.
Copyright 2011. Pam Taylor, Christian Life Coach, loavesandfishescoaching.com