Self pity vs. self-compassion. What’s the difference? And, who cares?
Self-pity is a passive self-absorbed thing. It prevents us from having self-compassion. And it prevents us from fully loving others.
Imagine. (Pleeeeasssseee…Totally stop everything right now and take a few minutes to truly imagine with me...) Imagine a time when you’re tenderly and compassionately caring for someone that is ill. You lovingly put them to bed. A little later, you go in to check on them and they are asleep. You stand in the doorway and you watch them sleep and you pray and will them to be well again. You have compassion for them. The person turns over, looks at you and you realize, that person…
Now…if you can stay in that moment of time, healing is waiting for you there!
Self-pity vs. self-compassion.
Modeling. Our children model what they see in us. If we don’t forgive ourselves, the child likely is unforgiving toward the mother/father and toward self, as well.
Healthy child: “My mother/father loved life.” However…If we raise “healthy” kids, and we only love them, but we don’t love ourselves, they too will have difficulty loving themselves, because that is what was modeled for them = NOT loving oneself.
Disclaimer: of course we are not referring to the model that embraces thinking the world revolves around oneself, but rather a good healthy love of what the Creator decided we would be. He chose our personality, our spiritual gifts, our talents and skills. To not embrace who we were created to be, is an affront to our Father. We owe it to our children to know the difference between self-pity vs. self-compassion.
I’d love to hear your thoughts about this. Have you found this to be true?
I remember learning a poem about being the Master of my fate when I was in school. The poem has stuck with me throughout my life. For many years, it confused me because I thought, “If I truly am the master of my fate, why can’t I make my life work right?”
The February 10 devo published by Haven Ministries started me thinking about “fate” and “masters” again.
“Society teaches us constantly that we are the masters of our destiny, that we are what we make of ourselves, that we write the script. Knowing Jesus Christ as our Savior, however, shows us otherwise. Christianity is not about me and what I make of myself; it’s about Christ and what He has done for me. He is the author of my faith;…all my days were ordained in His Book before a single one of them came to be.”
In the Bible, Jeremiah 10:23 states: “I know, O LORD, that a man’s life is not his own; it is not for man to direct his steps.”
The devo goes on: “Those lessons come to us over time when our best-laid plans fail and we are forced down other paths. Instead of feeling that we write the story of our lives, we see that every day is a journal page – a record of all the Lord has done for us. He is the author of our lives! With our eyes fixed on Him (not ourselves), He carries us through and writes us into the wondrous plan of His Kingdom.”
So, have you come to terms with who truly is the master of your fate and the author of your life story? Maybe it’s time to do what I finally did: surrender all that to the Creator God and trust that “Father knows best.” Because He truly does! 🙂
You whole life will take a turn for the better as peace and joy shows up in your life on a routine basis because you realize that God’s “got your back”.
Questions? I’d love to talk to you about this!