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Self-pity vs. Self-compassion

Self pity vs. self-compassion. What’s the difference? And, who cares?

Self-pity is a passive self-absorbed thing. It prevents us from having self-compassion. And it prevents us from fully loving others.

Imagine. (Pleeeeasssseee…Totally stop everything right now and take a few minutes to truly imagine with me...) Imagine a time when you’re tenderly and compassionately caring for someone that is ill. You lovingly put them to bed.  A little later, you go in to check on them and they are asleep. You stand in the doorway and you watch them sleep and you pray and will them to be well again. You have compassion for them. The person turns over, looks at you and you realize, that person…

It’s YOU!

Now…if you can stay in that moment of time, healing is waiting for you there!

Self-pity vs. self-compassion.

Modeling. Our children model what they see in us. If we don’t forgive ourselves, the child likely is unforgiving toward the mother/father and toward self, as well.

Healthy child: “My mother/father loved life.” However…If we raise “healthy” kids, and we only love them, but we don’t love ourselves, they too will have difficulty loving themselves, because that is what was modeled for them = NOT loving oneself.

Disclaimer: of course we are not referring to the model that embraces thinking the world revolves around oneself, but rather a good healthy love of what the Creator decided we would be. He chose our personality, our spiritual gifts, our talents and skills. To not embrace who we were created to be, is an affront to our Father. We owe it to our children to know the difference between self-pity vs. self-compassion.

I’d love to hear your thoughts about this. Have you found this to be true?

 

 

Filed under: Spiritual Life — Tags: — Pam Taylor @ 11:09 am

Why Do We Need Revivals? Why Do We Need Life Coaches?

Why do we need revivals? “Revivals are a new surge of spiritual life. The return of something to its true purpose,” says David Jeremiah. 

Why do we need revivals? Revivals are not for God. They are for His creation. He knows we are incomplete unless we are complete in Him. So, he allows us to feel empty so He can fill us up.

Many times, our decisions are made in the heat of our emotions being stirred up. Maybe it is a television commercial or an end-aisle store display that causes us to see something and we believe that we just have to have it! The crash of the Target store website over their new product line is proof of that. The resultant anger of the people that were unable to purchase what they saw was a sad commentary on what we have become. Wouldn’t a revival transform our thinking about what we consider to be a life-or-death matter?

Why do we need revivals? How many times have we been to a church service or a seminar and made a commitment in the midst of an emotional setting? How many times do we have to “go forward” in an emotional response before we “really” mean it? Maybe we make plans to be more organized with our time or nicer to our family or we promise to “have devotions” every day as opposed to hit-and-miss, willy-nilly.

How many times do we promise ourselves that we will eat healthy after we see a program on the dangers of making a habit of eating from the fast food lane? How many things do we start with good intentions, only to get shipwrecked along the way and then just plain quit?

Many of our commitments are made in emotional settings for emotional reasons. Then, when the emotion passes, the commitment wanes. David Jeremiah says that he used to “have a revival every summer at camp”. J Can you relate to that? Maybe it wasn’t summer camp for you. Maybe it was a ladies’ retreat, or a men’s Promise Keepers event or something similar.

What can we do to prevent our commitments from only lasting as long as the Israelites while Moses was on the mountain getting the 10 commandments from God? Do we see God move in our lives and then go back to our usual pattern of life? Maybe—like the Israelites—in about 40 days?

Our lives are hectic and busy and it’s hard to focus. It is easy to lose sight of what is truly important. It is easy to let the temporal overshadow the eternal and forget why we are here on this planet at this time in history. What does Creator God have in mind for us to be and to do?

Why do we need life coaches? Christian life coaches are especially trained to help you keep that vision…that desire to live your best life…to live in your God-given strengths, rather than in defeat and frustration at not having kept your commitments when you felt revival stir in you. We help you hold that conviction when it begins to wane. We come alongside you as a type of cheerleader…like Barnabas in the New Testament. Encouraging and cheering you on to be your God-given best self. To be all He intended you to be. A coaching relationship helps you maintain your commitment goals.

Let’s talk about how that can be a reality in YOUR life! J

Filed under: Spiritual Life — Tags: — Pam Taylor @ 8:19 pm

Moms, Put on Your Oxygen Masks

To prepare the passengers in case of an emergency during flight, the directions from the flight crew include something like this: “Moms, put on your oxygen mask before putting on your child’s oxygen mask.”

Why do you suppose they do that? I’m thinking it is because they know that it goes entirely against a mother’s natural instinct.

For many moms, one of the hardest things about mothering is the taking care of yourself part. I know it was for me, and and I hear it from others, as well.

So, this post is to encourage you. Not to be selfish, but to be sure to take care of self-care. In order to be the best mom for your child, it is not selfish to give yourself a “time out” so to speak. To refresh your spirit. To put on your oxygen mask before attempting to care for your child.

I’m not talking about neglecting your child. I’m not talking about indulging yourself in selfishness. I’m talking about knowing what you need in order to be the best you can be. Different personalities need different things to be their best. So, know your personality type. Know your spiritual gifts. Know your worship style. Know what type of exercise strengthens you. Know when a short break for a glass of water or a bit of protein will help bring out the best in your mothering skills.  A Christian life coach can help you to pinpoint those areas that you may need to “tweak” a bit in order to put on your oxygen mask so you can be breathing well enough to then care for your child’s oxygen mask.

What are ways that you, Moms, put on your oxygen masks ?

Mothering is like a sisterhood. We like to encourage and help each other through to success. What have you done or what are you doing now? Or maybe you remember how your own Mom did that very well…

BTW, we just want to let you know that we are new to Facebook so be sure to take time to “Like” Loaves and Fishes Coaching on Facebook.

Filed under: Spiritual Life — Pam Taylor @ 11:17 am