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Who Needs a Baby?


Progressive ideals

When I married, I held tightly to the progressive ideas of my Baby Boomer generation. One of those ideas was that society was so evil and corrupt, I couldn’t stand bringing a child into the world.

The Vietnam War had become ugly. I didn’t want my child to grow up and have to fight in such wars. Racial riots flourished. What kind of person would bring a child into such an environment? My arguments sounded so noble.

Children are expensive and messy

“Besides,” I thought, “children are expensive—and time-consuming. They drool and mess their pants. Their noses are always runny, and they throw food at the table. They cry, too, and whine.” I had never baby-sat, because small children seemed so helpless and messy, ungrateful and self-centered.

Baby showers

I especially hated baby showers, but because I had a lot of friends, I was invited to many. Nothing could have irritated me more.

One day, a baby shower, of all things, started a huge turnaround that would challenge my self-centered ideas and change my life. I was sitting inconspicuously in a group of gushing, sentimental women and becoming more disgusted by the moment. I glared, thinking, “This is ridiculous! I don’t need a baby to prove my worth as a person!”

What is going on?

During refreshments, the veteran mothers compared horror stories of their birth experiences. The mother-to-be got more pale with every story. I thought, “Who wants kids? I’m glad I’m smart enough to avoid such foolishness!”

Looking around, I saw how many women had brought their babies along to the shower. Then it happened. Someone handed me her baby to hold while she went to the restroom. I had no time to protest. The baby looked at me straight in the eyes, cooed, and smiled.

Oh no, what is happening? I felt a strange stirring in my stomach. I couldn’t breathe. “What is going on, Lord? I can’t be attracted to this child.”

That was the beginning.

It seemed as though everywhere I went, people asked me to hold their babies. Each time, I could hardly wait to hand the baby back to its owner. I began to develop a reputation for being a baby hater.

Yet, I began to realize I longed for my own child. That was a surprising revelation.

Prayer. Barrenness hurts. Fasting.

One evening I knelt at the foot of my bed and read about Hannah’s plight in I Samuel 1. I was beginning to relate to the pain of barrenness. Nobody knew about the new stirrings that softened my heart, so people teased me just as Peninnah had teased Hannah. It hurt.

That night before God, I committed myself to fast and pray for my own child. “Lord, I promise to rear the child to honor You. I’ll give it back to You if You will just bless me this way,” I vowed.

In the midst of that fast, the Lord impressed upon me my need to yield my personal rights to Him. I prayed, “It’s okay, God, if I never have children. I want what you want.”

I finally felt peace.

Amazingly, my spirit felt as though God said, “Finally!” I felt peace for probably the first time in my twelve years of marriage. I had surrendered my will to Him.

Children are expensive and time consuming!

That very day I conceived my first of two children. Sure enough, my beliefs turned out to be true. Children are expensive and time-consuming. They drool and mess their pants. They sometimes have runny noses and play with their food. They cry and whine, but so what? They were my babies, and it somehow didn’t matter.

A secret.

My friends had a baby shower for me and for my first child, Rebecca. I remember the day she looked me straight in the eyes, cooed, and smiled—as though she knew a secret. Somehow I felt that Rebecca and God had been in alliance, all along knowing what I really needed and wanted.

To God be the Glory! He knows what is best for each of us!

—First published in Women Alive! July/August 1998

My Father: Experiencing God's Love A-Z

Pamela Taylor invites you to join her in this interactive acrostic devotional journal designed to draw you into the extremely personal and abundant love God has waiting for you. Experience the "Just ask..." of His love for you!

My Father: Experiencing God's Love from A-Z by Pamela A. Taylor

Let's Connect!Until next time,
Awaiting His shout,

Christian Life Coach
Leading from Your Strengths Mentor

Filed under: Christian Life Coaching,Spiritual Life — Tags: , , , — Pam Taylor @ 7:00 am

Virus Survival Ideas: Let’s Get Practical

Cross in front of a parking lot

Our world is in a mess

And yet, I am encouraged. Odd? Let’s look at what is going on. Everywhere we look, things are changing. Like the picture here, even church parking lots are empty. Life is confusing and a bit difficult to navigate. All things are different than they were even just a couple months ago. We pray. We order supplies. We try to encourage those around us. We have to find new ways to do everything that needs doing. And all while practicing “Social Distancing”.

It can be easy to get distracted

“Faith feels. But feelings can never produce faith…Faith knows God truly but not fully.” (Anchor Devotional March 2020). We cannot know what God knows in the way that God knows it. We do what we can do and we leave to God what only God can do. We put our faith in what Jesus has already done; and we put our HOPE in Him.

The feet of faith is HOPE

Yes. When we feel fearful, we remember we put our faith in our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, and ONLY in Jesus Christ. In times like these, when it is a bit scary, we remember. It’s a journey. One step at a time. HOPE is what makes us long for His return. It is like watching out a window for a loved one to return. We wait.

What an amazing time to be alive

It is all so hard, and yet, when we look below the surface, Philippians reminds us that God truly is working all things for good… but, we are also reminded that that working for good is conditional. That promise is for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. This is a great time to re-evaluate our relationship with God.

We are coming up on the Palm Sunday/Easter weeks in the United States. Such a special season for the Followers of the Way.

The issue of faith is not so much whether we believe in God, but whether we believe the God we believe in.
– R. C. Sproul

What do we do while we wait?

O that Christians would learn to live with one eye on Christ crucified and the other on His coming Glory. –Richard Baxter

The Easter season. Passover. Remember I said in the first sentence that I am encouraged? Here’s how and why:  As followers of Christ, we are victors; and part of being a victor is making well-thought out choices. So…

As we sit in our homes and model the faith for our children and try not to worry during this “Pandemic”, we can make some important and lasting choices…

Let’s get practical. Here’s some things I’ve been doing & you can too:

  • Anoint the doorposts with olive oil (Praying for the protection of our homes by the Blood of Jesus Christ. Remembering Passover.)
  • Memorize Psalm 100 (Such a joyous psalm.) And speaking it out loud often.
  • Create acronyms of Names/Attributes of God ( A – Z) You can even make a game of it. Or a poster. Together.
  • I made posters for each room of my apartment. I wrote: S M I L E and a big happy face under the word (I was forgetting to smile).
  • Tired of singing the 20 second happy birthday song, I learned an alternative from mcleanbible.org . (To be sure I washed my hands long enough to get rid of the germs. AND to keep my focus on God.) I put it on an index card that I placed where I wash my hands.

Here’s what it says:

(Jesus said) “All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth.
Go, therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the Name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit,
teaching them to observe all that I commanded you, and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”
– Matthew 28:18b-20 (NAS)

I’m praying for you as I am typing this.
Keep looking UP, brave warrior. The Lord is on your side!

Let me know how you are doing. I really want to know.

Let's Connect!Awaiting His shout,

Christian Life Coach
Leading from Your Strengths Mentor

Filed under: Christian Life Coaching — Tags: , , — Pam Taylor @ 7:00 am